I once told myself a story of being a victim when it came to love and friendship. Saying that to myself was comforting. It helped me blame others, fate even and define who I was in that light. It made sense, if you have been victimized, to withdraw, to withhold and to be invulnerable. To be there for people but not present yourself fully.
What’s wrong with it you may ask? We have all been victims at some point and if you are a victim what other story can you tell yourself?
Well…there lies the problem. If your story is that of a victim you have a need for sympathy, to be taken care of, to be protected and you will attract people like that in your life.
If, on the other hand, you are a survivor, you have lived through harshness and survived, you have learnt lessons, you don’t have a hole or a gap, you don’t need sympathy, you don’t need protection.
You need humaneness and you know what it looks like, you know what it takes to stand up for your rights, you know what it feels like to live life on your own terms, what it means to love yourself to be able to give and receive fully.
Stories define who we are. Choose empowering ones constantly.
Written by Sreeja Iyer, CEO and Co-founder of Sparkling Mindz Global School.
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