Empathy as a Culture

(Facilitator (F) observing the scene calls out for them)
 
Av: Ma’am Ar hit me, he always hits me.
F: Av, does he always hit you – like all the time? 
Av: No
Ar (angrily): I get angry when people don’t let me do what I want to do.
F:  I understand you get angry and you hit people when you get angry. How do you think the other person feels when you do that? Do you like it when someone hits you when they get angry? 

(Labeling hitting as good or bad thing to do doesn’t help the child think or process and children are not engaging with the emotion – they are just saying things and thinking it is black or white. Think about it are there times when it is good to hit someone when you get angry?) 

Ar (adamantly): Yes 
F (to the class): Do you all think hitting when angry is a good thing?
Class: No ma’am. 
T: Ar should talk to them.

F: Thank you T, let’s ask Ar what he wants to do?
Ar: By not talking.
F: How will this help you Ar?
Ar: I don’t know. I can’t think.
Av: Ma’am I’m not angry with Ar but he can’t hit people when he gets angry
F: Can Ar think of how else he can express his anger? 
Ar: Ok. I’m sorry, I’ll think and share.

Anger is a useful emotion, it tells us that boundaries have been breached and learning to express it in a healthy manner is a learning children can acquire from an early age. This sets the context for a healthy emotional bonding amongst children and builds their emotional quotient.

Be it a child or an adult, taking perspective and being empathetic is an important skill to learn. Children are capable of understanding and resolving their conflicts, it’s important for us to trust their capabilities and encourage them to resolve their conflicts by showing them perspectives. By creating a culture where each one is accepting of the other’s flaws and perspectives and help each other learn and grow together will make us stronger as a society.